We often embark on personal growth journeys with clear goals and a surge of motivation. However, a hidden challenge can lurk beneath the surface, silently hindering our progress: outcome resistance.
Unlike external obstacles, this form of resistance stems from an unconscious fear of the desired outcome itself. Coined by eminent psychiatrist David Burns, this seemingly paradoxical phenomenon acts as an unseen force, creating internal hurdles in the path of behavioural change. In this exploration, we delve into the intricacies of outcome resistance, understanding how it complicates the process of behavioural change and discovering strategies to navigate these challenges.
Understanding Outcome Resistance and Why You Self-Sabotage
At its core, outcome resistance encapsulates the internal battles that individuals wage within themselves when confronted with the prospect of change. David Burns elucidates that this resistance stems from a deep-seated fear of potential consequences, creating a conflict between the desire for change and the apprehension of what that change might entail. This somewhat contradictory situation arises from various fears and anxieties associated with achieving the goal.
Some examples would be:
You want to quit smoking but fear losing the social connection it provides.
You dream of a new job but dread the responsibility and stress that might come with it.
You desire deeper relationships but worry about vulnerability and rejection.
Behavioural Change and the Complexity of Outcome Resistance
Let's now dive deeper into some of the reasons why outcome resistance can emerge when attempting to bring about behavioural change:
Fear of the Unknown:
One of the primary ways outcome resistance manifests is through an inherent fear of the unknown. The prospect of change introduces uncertainties – what if the anticipated outcome is not as favourable as imagined? This fear of venturing into uncharted territory can paralyze individuals, making them hesitant to take the first steps towards behavioural change. Presently, the individual knows that they can rely on their current behaviour to achieve their desired outcome, even if it is through maladaptive means. The thought of no longer being able to turn to it can instil fear and feelings of overwhelm. Consider the person who wants to quit drinking because it has become problematic, but the only way they feel relief from the stresses of a hard day is to pour themselves a drink. The fear of knowing they will no longer have that outlet should they successfully quit drinking can cause the individual to create scenarios where they can’t help but turn to a drink.
Self-Sabotage Patterns:
Outcome resistance often manifests as self-sabotaging behaviours. Individuals find themselves caught in a loop of actions that undermine their efforts towards change. Whether through procrastination, avoidance, or engaging in counterproductive habits, these patterns become subconscious mechanisms of resistance.
Conflict Between Internal Parts:
Burns' model of outcome resistance suggests that internal conflicts play a pivotal role. Different facets of an individual's psyche may harbour conflicting desires, creating a tug-of-war between the aspects that yearn for change and those that fear the consequences. This inner turmoil complicates the decision-making process. For more on this, see my blog post on Internal Family Systems.
Other factors which can also play a role include:
Fear of success: This might stem from a belief that success will lead to increased responsibilities, scrutiny, or isolation. Perhaps the majority of your friends drink and so you feel you might be left out should you quit drinking, or you want a new job which will push you further but with that comes more responsibility and stress, so you think maybe it’s easier just staying in the job you have.
Fear of failure: The potential pain of failing can be so overwhelming that it's easier to sabotage progress before trying.
Loss of identity: Achieving a goal might mean shedding aspects of our current identity, which can feel unsettling and lead to unconscious resistance. Perhaps you see yourself as 'a drinker', so the thought of no longer drinking could almost feel like an existential threat.
Overcoming the Hurdles of Outcome Resistance
There are ways to overcome outcome resistance, however, and although they take patience and perseverance, they will equip you with the strength to enact permanent positive change.
Building Self-Compassion:
Behavioural change experts, such as Sharoo Izadi, in her book The Kindness Method, emphasise the importance of self-compassion in overcoming issues like outcome resistance. Understanding that the journey is not linear and acknowledging the fear of the unknown is the first step towards building resilience and self-belief.
Set Yourself Up for Success:
Knowing that there will be times when you will be triggered and will want to return to your familiar ways is key to lasting change. Creating a toolkit of alternative behaviours and actions that you can deploy when you feel yourself wanting to self-sabotage puts you on the front foot for sustained success. Leaving it until the moment you are triggered means you are more likely to return to your default behaviour, which is why crafting a list of alternative behaviours will make choosing the right behaviour more effortless in the moment.
Unearthing Root Causes:
In the vast landscape of behavioural change, individuals are encouraged to dig deeper and unearth the root causes of their resistance. This involves delving into past experiences, traumas, or limiting beliefs that may be fuelling the fear of change.
Parts Approaches:
Adopting a parts approach that integrates psychological modalities such as Internal Family Systems (IFS) or Family Constellation therapy can be instrumental. IFS identifies and works with the different "parts" within an individual, helping to harmonise conflicting voices and mitigate internal conflicts contributing to outcome resistance, while Family Constellation therapy explores hidden family dynamics impacting present issues by using representatives to act out emotions and relationships within a symbolic family system.
Gradual Exposure:
Mental health practitioners often advocate for a gradual exposure to the desired change. Instead of plunging headfirst into unfamiliar waters which can lead to overwhelm, individuals can take small, manageable steps. For the example of the person who wishes to quit drinking, this could look like slowly reducing their intake over the course of a few weeks down to zero. This gradual approach helps acclimatise the mind to the idea of change without triggering overwhelming resistance.
Outcome resistance is an intricate dance between the desire for change and the fear of its consequences. In the realm of behavioural change, understanding and navigating this resistance is pivotal for success. Mental health practitioners leverage compassionate and holistic approaches, recognising the multifaceted nature of internal conflicts. By fostering self-compassion, unearthing root causes, and embracing gradual exposure, individuals can navigate the turbulent waters of outcome resistance and journey towards transformative behavioural change.
If you're interested in working with me to address how outcome resistance may be preventing you from reaching your goal, get in touch. Bookings are now open, here.
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