Have you ever felt stuck, desperately wanting to change but finding yourself unable to make it happen?
Perhaps you’ve set lofty goals to be healthier, more confident, or a better writer, only to see little to no progress despite your best intentions.
This common struggle can be disheartening, leaving many feeling like lasting change is out of reach.
However, the secret to becoming who you want to be lies in living as though you are already that person.
By adopting this little goal setting tweak, and living the daily habits and mindset of your future self, you can transform your present reality and embody the life you desire.
This blog will explore the pitfalls of common goal setting techniques, why change can be challenging, and how embodying your future self can help you achieve your goals.
Let's go!
Table of Contents:
Why Goal Setting Often Falls Short
Standard goal setting practises can leave you feeling overwhelmed and mentally depleted because you are constantly trying to fight against your current view of self.
What exaclty do I mean by that?
Well, when you set goals, you're often operating from a mindset that sees a significant gap between who you are and who you want to be. This can create an ongoing internal conflict, as your brain tries to reconcile your current self-image with your aspirations.
For example, if your goal is to be healthy, but you think of yourself as someone who is unhealthy, when you are confronted with, say, a plate full of delicious, chewy, freshly baked cookies, there is going to be an internal conflict about whether or not you should have one.
Since you still think of yourself as someone who is unhealthy (because you haven't reached your goal yet), eating the cookies aligns with your current view of self - it feels like it's the choice you would make.
But, because you have a goal to be healthy, you also know having a cookie is the wrong choice to make.
Cue the angel and the devil on opposing shoulders, battling it out.
This type of internal conflict can drain your mental resources because you're constantly fighting who you are with who you want to be, having to resist temptation in a bid to reach your goal, and relying heavily on willpower and discipline.
Over time, this can weaken resolve and cause you to give up on your goals all together.
The Challenge of Behaviour Change
On top of this, there is the complexity of behaviour change we need to contend with.
One reason behaviour change can be so difficult is because behaviour change requires a rewiring the brain.
Our habits and routines are deeply ingrained in our neural pathways, making it challenging to adopt new behaviours.
In order to override the existing neural pathways, the new behaviour has to be repeated and reinforced over time and this, if you're using standard goal setting practises, can be draining.
Additionally, environmental triggers, such as social cues and physical surroundings, can reinforce old habits and make change even harder.
This is why traditional approaches to goal setting and behaviour change, which often focus on willpower and motivation, frequently fall short.
So, what's the solution?
How To Achieve Your Goals by Embodying Your Future Self
One powerful way to overcome these challenges is revolutionise the way you approach goal setting.
Rather than viewing yourself at Point A with a goal of getting to Point B, you see yourself as already being at Point B and simply going about your day as you normally would, already being your future ideal self.
Your goal of "I want to be.." morphs into "I am...".
This doesn't mean you no longer set goals, it simply means adopting the behaviours, mindset, and habits of the person you want to become, right now.
Instead of "trying to" be healthier, more confident, or a better writer, you live as though you already are that person today. This shift in perspective can be transformative, as it changes how you think about yourself and your abilities in the now, dissolving the inner conflicts you would experience trying to reconclie the two versions of yourself; who you are and who you want to be.
Your brain will always choose the path of least resistance, and so it wants to make choices that are congruent with your self-image. The moment you adopt the image of your ideal or goal self, your brain will shift into making choices that align with that view.
For instance, if you believe yourself to already be a healthy person and someone who has a healthy lifestyle, you will be less inclined to give those cookies a second glance.
From a neuroscience perspective, this approach leverages the brain's plasticity - its ability to form new neural connections. When you consistently act like your future self would, you reinforce new neural pathways associated with these behaviours, extinguishing the existing ones through a process called extinction.
Over time, these pathways become stronger, making the new behaviours feel more natural and automatic. This is why embodying your future self is more effective than simply trying to reach your goals through willpower alone.
Method Acting Your Future Self
Adopting a method acting approach for reaching your goals can make it easier to embody your future self. It's the age-old adage "fake it til you make it".
Method acting involves fully immersing yourself in a role, thinking, and behaving as the character would. Similarly, you can immerse yourself in the role of your future self by thinking and acting as they would.
For instance, if you want to be a healthier person, ask yourself: What does a healthy person do daily? They might exercise regularly, eat nutritious foods, and prioritise sleep.
By adopting these behaviours in incremental steps, you start to live as a healthy person - which leads to you becoming a healthy person - further reinforcing the identity of being someone who values their health.
Even the Queen B herself, Beyonce, utilised this practise to become the confident and extraordinary performer she is today. By embodying the behaviours and characteristics of Sasha Fierce, a fictional character who was the idealised performer she wanted to be, Beyonce was able to overcome the nerves and anxieties that could have crippled her career, and instead has become one of the most powerful performers of our generation.
And if it's good enough for Beyonce, it's good enough for me!
Tips on How to Embody Your Future Self
If this is all sounding really good, but you feel stuck as to how you can be someone you aren't just yet, here are some handy tips to help get you started:
Identify Daily Habits: Determine the daily habits and routines of the person you want to become. If your goal is to be more confident, spend some time thinking about how a confident person might start their day, interact with others, and handle challenges.
Visualise Success: Spend time visualising yourself as your future self. Imagine how you feel, how you act, and how others perceive you. Visualisation can help reinforce the neural pathways associated with your desired behaviours.
Set Small, Achievable Goals: Break down your future self's habits into small, manageable steps. If you want to write daily but you currently don’t write at all, start with just 10 minutes a day and gradually increase the time as it becomes a habit. If you want to be fit but are currently sedentary, start with just a short 10-minute walk around the block. Even though the actions are small to begin with, they have the powerful effect of rewiring your brain and instilling new habits.
Create a Supportive Environment: Modify your environment to support your new habits. This could mean removing unhealthy snacks from your home, setting up a dedicated writing space, or surrounding yourself with positive influences.
Practice Self-Compassion: Change is challenging, and setbacks are part of the process. Be kind to yourself and remember that embodying your future self is a journey, not a destination. You aren't going to get there overnight, and you will face setbacks. The important thing is that you keep aiming towards your goal of embodying your future self.
Reflect and Adjust: Regularly reflect on your progress and adjust your approach as needed. Celebrate your successes and learn from any challenges.
Create an Ideal Avatar or Find a Role Model: Just like Beyoncé had Sasha Fierce, you can create a detailed vision of your future self – your ideal avatar. Or, find someone you admire, someone who embodies the qualities you aspire to possess, whether it's a friend, family member, or even a celebrity. This avatar or role model becomes your reference point. When you get stuck, simply ask yourself: 'What would [your avatar's name]/[your role model's name] do in this situation?'
Conclusion
So there you have it! The secret to effective goal setting is to simply live like you are already have achieved it.
By embodying the behaviours and mindset of your future self, you can rewire your brain, overcome environmental triggers, and achieve lasting change.
Whether you aspire to be healthier, more confident, or a better writer, adopting the daily actions of your future self will help you move closer to your goals.
Remember, it's not about trying to change; it's about living as though you already have.
Start today and watch as you transform into the person you want to become.
If you'd like to know more about how this method can transform your life, request your obligation-free Discovery Call here.
Comments